By: Melissa Heffron, Wish Mom
At the very moment your child receives a life-threatening diagnosis, life, as you know it, ceases to exist. As you slowly start to digest the conversation that you had with the doctor, you gradually find yourself falling into an unimaginably scary, deep, and never ending abyss. You start questioning everything – science, yourself, the environment, God. You wonder how you’re going to put one foot in front of the other, let alone care for the rest of your family. In your deepest despair, you silently debate whether or not anyone would care if you stayed in your room and never emerged.
Prior to my d
aughter’s illness, I was never one to divulge any personal information or ask others for help. My family was my business, and I never thought it was anyone else’s responsibility to assume. However, I quickly learned that the brutal task of undertaking a horrible illness was not one I could tackle alone. As much as I couldn’t physically handle it on my own, emotionally, I was also far too under-prepared to independently manage it. As a mother, I was handed the impossible job of holding my daughter’s hand through every painful, unimaginable, scary, and uncertain procedure. I was expected to hold my emotions in check as she screamed in pain, cried from isolation, or vomited from another sickness. On her own, Superwoman would have failed at this task, so I certainly did not have a chance in succeeding alone.
Kyla’s illness required that every ounce of my energy be focused on keeping her alive. I have two other children, one being an infant at the time, so I obviously had other obligations, but for the most part, my life revolved around keeping Kyla safe. I became a robot with the glaring discrepancy being that I quickly became both physically and emotionally exhausted.
Luckily, beauty emerged into our lives just as we were nearing rock bottom. Family, friends, and acquaintances offered to help us after hearing our story. People took it upon themselves to organize dinners, send care packages to the hospitals we were at, donate money, register as bone marrow donors, and even donate blood. I was fortunate enough to meet other mothers in similar positions as myself, and we provided each other the much needed understanding and an outlet to vent our frustrations to. Nurses and other staff showed Kyla so much love and affection that I often forgot we were in the confines of our hospital room.
We also saw beaut
y personified when we took our Make-A-Wish trip to Walt Disney World. For once, we forgot about an illness and instead lost ourselves in the most magical place on earth. For one glorious week we dreamed big, enjoyed every last attraction, stuffed ourselves silly, and most importantly, celebrated the whole family’s triumph over the worst stage in our lives.
However, the most beautiful event to occur from Kyla’s illness is one she actually holds with her today. A selfless, German man agreed to donate bone marrow to a child he had no connection with. This beautiful gift afforded my daughter a second chance at life, and equally as important, provided my family a chance to remain intact. All of these beautiful things played a vital role in Kyla’s treatment and her long recovery.
One of the most important lessons I learned and will take from our journey is that illness truly does cultivate beauty. Humankind has a natural way of embracing the sick and vulnerable. We were lifted onto the shoulders of countless individuals, which allowed us the chance to not only survive, but thrive.
water trampoline). Every day after the conclusion of the initial meeting, I woke up each and every day excited, rejuvenated and overjoyed because I had something to look forward to. I knew if I continued with my treatments and took my medication, I would be on that trampoline in no time. The sense of excitement overcame the sense of doom and hopelessness. I now had something that would make me feel ‘normal.’
funds and were able to support the wishes of children with life-threatening medical conditions. The excitement described earlier was matched, if not exceeded, by the excitement I had had throughout this endeavor.
In May 2014, while giving my daughter a bath, my wife and I noticed something odd. In addition to looking very pale, she had tiny red dots and bruises on her body. We decided to have our pediatrician check it out, but were not worried.
It was in Boston on a very cold night that I was walking back to our apartment from the hospital when I broke down. Kyla was so tired of living an isolated life, so over being sick, so done with restrictions that kept her away from playing with others. She was constantly being reminded of her illness, both from her own body and her surroundings. She needed something bright to hold on too. Something to fight for. She needed a wish. The next morning I called our hometown Make-A-Wish and asked for help. Their amazing staff immediately got to work.
f the activities I was able to do. We also took a bus tour up to some of the highest points in Hawaii. We got up to an elevation of 2,000 feet! We also got to see some other areas of Hawaii, which was cool. These areas were mostly farm land with smaller houses. I remembered thinking that anywhere you live in Hawaii, it must be great. We also got to stop at a beach where there were about ten huge sea turtles just lying on the sand! We couldn’t get too close to them, but just seeing them was an experience of its own.
de four-wheelers and snowmobiles, so riding a jet ski was easy. I liked it so much that my stepdad and I decided to go jet skiing a second time! All of the restaurants that we ate at were in the next town over and those were super good with lots of seafood and healthy choices.
giving me the opportunity to find my happiness.
d clothing banks, to monetary donations and random acts of kindness. Last year alone, Giving Tuesday inspired $117 million in donations, which was raised for charities in more than 70 countries.
Here’s why: For Make-A-Wish Central New York, the average cost of a wish is nearing $12,000. At any given time, our chapter is working on approximately 80 wishes with no waiting list. Through your generous support, we create magic for children with life-threatening medical conditions during a time they need it most.
come wishes fulfilled; unique experiences that provide a lifetime of happy memories and change lives for the better.
My wish changed everything. With my parents juggling time between my inpatient stays (we basically lived there), my dad’s job, and time with my older sister, I spent a considerable amount of time with my grandmother, who is from North Carolina. It was through her that I became obsessed with NASCAR and wanted to go to a race for my wish. Not only did I get to go to a race (and a race at the legendary Charlotte Motor Speedway no less!), but I got to meet all the drivers, and even start the race by standing on the track and saying, “Gentlemen, start your engines,” on national television and in front of hundreds of thousands of people. To put it simply, it was one heck of a weekend for a kid who’d just started kindergarten and was too weak to be allowed to participate at recess.
I often frame this for people by explaining that, while my wish did not literally save my life (I owe that to the neuroblastoma team at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center), it changed the way that my entire family and I felt about life. I was no longer just a sickly kid. For that weekend, I felt like a true celebrity. Having my wish granted transformed my feelings about my cancer treatment into one positive and optimistic memory. It is for that reason that I have continued to be involved with Make-A-Wish ever since that weekend in Charlotte. Every kid going through such a tough treatment should get that same feeling of empowerment that I was so fortunate to receive, instead of having to sit through it feeling like a victim.
I believe that the truest testament of my family becoming stronger and overcoming a challenge came about when my sister, the second eldest sibling, was diagnosed with Ewing’s Sarcoma at the age of 12.
I cannot recall at what point my family became acquainted with Make-A-Wish, but being introduced to such an amazing, heart-warming group of individuals made us feel that we weren’t so alone.
It was not until I recently became involved in supporting the community through my current employer that I would cross paths with Make-A-Wish again.